I remember a classmate from high school. She used to get reprimanded by teachers for not paying attention in class. The reason? She read too much. Even during class hours, she was always reading. In retrospect, this always amused me. Imagine scolding a teen for reading too much. It’s a good problem to have.
I’ve always liked to read books, even as a kid. When I was very young, before I entered kindergarten, my parents bought me children’s books by Filipino authors. When I entered grade school, I hung out in the library often. I spent my spare time after lunch sitting in the library and reading. I stayed there so often that the library assistants became my friends. I even borrowed books and read them at home. This continued in my high school years, too. I never lost the habit, even now.
I’m glad to have developed this hobby. During the period in my personal life I termed — as an inside joke with myself — the Dark Ages, reading saved me. This was a long period in my late teens and early twenties when I fell into a terrible depression. Reading was all I had. I spent my days doing nothing else but reading. My life was falling apart (or stalled, really, more like — the privilege of being young), but at least I had my books. In a way, it kept me alive. I lost all motivation to do anything substantial in my life, but I was determined to reach my reading goal for the year.
I don’t even know why I like reading so much. Is it the imagining new worlds part? The getting to know new characters? Hmm, I can get them from watching movies, too. I enjoy reading as a physical act. This one is a bit hard to explain well: I enjoy it because I like seeing the letters. I feel a certain satisfaction when I see the letters being ‘read’ — or I call it ‘consumed’ sometimes — by my eyes. It sounds weird, but it’s true. This is why I’m so particular about the fonts I read in, and why I read mostly ebooks now, exactly because I can choose whichever font I like.
I read whatever I like to read. When I was in grade school, I read all the books my hands could reach in the school library. In my memory, it was a lot of abridged classics and novels whose titles I don’t remember anymore. It’s where I read the abridged version of what would be my favorite novel of all time. I even remember reading an erotica novel once, and it was a library for elementary students! It’s funny, in retrospect. When I was this age, I also used to collect anime magazines — anime being another interest. I read every page, getting inspired by all the pictures, synopses, and character descriptions. I was into drawing as a kid, and I used to build my own lore for a manga I was drawing. I still have the magazines in a shoebox at home.
When I was in high school, I read a lot of romance, mystery, and psychology books, and the classics available on the library shelves. That high school library was like a home to me. I still remember the shiny big wooden chairs with cushions in the lounge by the entrance; they were so comfortable to sit in. In my high school years, reading was kind of like a communal activity. My classmates and friends were readers, too. They read mostly young adult books, and the young adult fantasy series that were popular at that time. Everybody shared recommendations and books. When one finishes a book, they give it to the next person who wants to read it next. My classmates discussed the books or series in their free time with a lot of excitement; dropping spoilers were frowned upon. So my classmate from the first paragraph — she wasn’t a weirdo or an outcast at all, or a ‘nerd’ in any derogatory sense. She was simply one reader among many, one nerd in an ocean of nerds. Thinking back, I never realized how lucky I was to have grown up in this environment.
I read as I liked. And I still do. While it was fun to see their enthusiasm, I didn’t read the same books as my classmates and friends; their books weren’t my kind of books, and that was fine. I like to do my own thing, and this is true for all of my hobbies, not just reading.
When I entered university, I read more. For some reason, I never picked up another romance novel again. (I have since left the romance fix to fanfiction.) But I read other genres. I read more authors and classics and literary fiction, wanting to prove something to myself after a friend told me, “You call yourself a reader and you don’t know [author]?” I read more mysteries obsessively, finding that this is my favorite genre of all. It was also around this time when I created a Goodreads account to track my reading. I started setting reading goals for every year. My standard goal is 30 books — not too few, but not too overwhelming a number, either. Perfectly doable. Having a reading goal encourages me to be more purposeful about my reading. And nothing beats the sense of accomplishment I feel at the end of the year when I meet my goal. I still keep my reading goals to this day.
In general, I try to keep away from trends. I wait until the hype for a book runs its course before I consider picking it up. It’s because I don’t trust the ‘authenticity’ of our reactions when there are too many voices telling us how to feel and think. This is a common experience, I’m sure: when you watch a movie after all the hype dies down only to find that it doesn’t live up to the hype. If I read a book, I must be personally curious about it. I have come to discover new genres and authors because of this. Transgressive fiction is one genre and has become a favorite ever since, and I’ve picked up non-fiction books on select subjects, from quantum physics to politics, to sate curiosities.
I don’t read to remember. There have been times when I forget that I’ve already read a particular title, as if past me was a completely different person. I forget the plot of novels I’ve already read. It doesn’t bother me. Sometimes it becomes an advantage when I want to read something again as if for the first time, especially with old favorites. I don’t read for quantity, to say that I’ve read so-and-so number of books, but that would be nice. I’m not even the most well-read person I know; I have online acquaintances who are truly voracious readers. I do read to keep my memory sharp; I heard somewhere that reading is one way to prevent the early onset of dementia. I read to write well. And to write well, one must read well. Developing taste is necessary to create your own beauty. But these aren’t the main reasons. I just like reading.
Sometimes I think I read just because it’s what I’m used to doing.